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RIP Archie Andrews, the 73-year-old, red-headed, all-American comics icon who died today stopping an assassination attempt on his friend Kevin Keller, a married openly gay senator campaigning for gun control. The death of the timeless good guy at the hands of a homophobic gun nut, which concluded a “Life with Archie” series portraying grown-up versions of the Riverdale gang, was praised by his creators as “a tonally perfect tribute to a character who has always put his friends first” but slammed by right-wing critics because obviously that could never happen.

Forget amnesty for the refugee kids, it’s time to work out a straight one-to-one trade. America gets those kids on that bus, if it ever comes, and Guatemala gets you. You’ll love it there, it’s got lots and lots of guns.

gop-humping_nThe current and previous Utah Attorney Generals were arrested and charged today with felony bribery, obstruction of justice, running a pay-to-play operation with donors, and witness tampering. Both are Republicans, in a deep Retard state.

I am actually a big fan of capital punishment, but because they are fucking christians, fucking mormons, they are per recent Supreme Court of the Untied States of “America” ruling above the law.

I too, am above the law. If it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander.


Tax corporations based on where sales are made, not where profits are reported. If a company has 50 percent of its sales in the U.S., the U.S. would tax 50 percent of its worldwide profits.

America is broke,” declared House Speaker John Boehner a few years ago. But clearly the country is not broke; we are just being robbed, as many corporations create ways of avoiding, dodging, shirking and generally not paying their taxes. The share of federal revenue coming from corporate taxes has dropped from around 32 percent in 1952 to around 8.9 percent now. As a share of gross domestic product it has fallen from about 6 percent of GDP then to less than 2 percent now. Meanwhile the rest of us – including small domestic companies that don’t have armies of tax consultants – have to make up that shortfall, either through increases in things like payroll taxes, or through cuts in the things government does to make our lives better.

Our big problem is that the big, multinational corporations use so many tax avoidance techniques that it is difficult to keep up. One of the larger dodges is that we allow corporations to “defer” (i.e. never pay) taxes on profits made outside the U.S.. So they engage in all kinds of schemes to make it look like their profits are not made here. As a result many companies owe very little tax on the proceeds from their U.S. operations, and then defer their non-U.S. profits from being “brought home” to avoid paying the taxes on non-U.S. sales.

It is estimated that as much as or even more than $2 trillion of taxable profits are being hoarded outside of the U.S. because of deferral.

It’s pretty damned simple: pay your taxes or get the fuck out.

Trust-funder punk who has never done a day’s work in your life and don’t even live in Oregon, Labor Secretary Tom Perez has a very reasonable response to politicians blaming jobless people for being unemployed:

“When I hear people on Capitol Hill say the long-term unemployed are unemployed by choice, I wanna punch ‘em,” Perez said Tuesday during a meeting with reporters.Perez paused and smiled. The reporters laughed. Perez said he felt strongly about the hardship of unemployment because as a youngster in Buffalo, New York, he’d witnessed his surrogate father struggle after a layoff — and because of his conversations with unemployed people today.

“The thing they say that angers them as much as anything is when politicians suggest they’re unemployed by choice, they’re just sitting at home eating bonbons,” Perez said. (He didn’t cite a specific example of a politician alleging bonbon consumption by unemployed people.)


It’s really rather simple, you stupid shit, and if you weren’t sprawled drunk on Ambien, Prozac, Viagra and crotch-shots on CNN/Fox Kool-Aid drooling Pavlovianly across a “couch” that came out of the back of a nineteen seventy-five Chevy Suburban you’d get it: the number of unemployed far outstrips the number of jobs available! Look at the chart, there are no jobs to be had.

Secretary Perez speaks for us all.

dixie-flag-NOTGotta’ hand it to you racist assholes, it’s pretty damned impressive how you’ve started two chicken-shit paid for on my grandkids’ credit card wars, bankrupted both the national and international economies by facilitating the simultaneous transfer of both pretty much all of the public assets to the private sector and pretty much all of the private debt to the public sector, reignited the war on women while regressing the country to a level of Jim Crow racism we haven’t seen in at least fifty years… and manage to blame it all on the black guy.

That, is pretty damned impressive.

Racist assholes.

The Rude Pundit is on fire: “A not-gentle anti-abortion protester shot up a [Planned Parenthood, tb] clinic in Brookline [Massachusetts] in 1994. In 2007, Massachusetts passed a law that created a 35-foot buffer zone around clinics in order to allow for a woman to be able to enter a Planned Parenthood without having people screaming and spitting in her face. And, yes, it prevented the gentle counselors from gently using their complete lack of medical or psychological expertise to advise women not to have abortions. So McCullen sued because Catholic Jesus wants her to save the babies and, quietly, shhh, shame women into changing their minds. And, [yesterday], the Supreme Court, in a fairly tepid opinion, overturned the law and said, “Sorry, but in order to protect the slut-whisperers, we have to allow the potentially violent crazies closer contact with you and the staff of the clinics. Use other laws to protect them, if you can.” (They can’t.)burning cross

Now, we can argue over whether or not the idea of “buffer zones” violates the First Amendment and if they are ever right, whether at clinics or conventions or the miles you have to stand away from the Supreme Court, but one thing we can perhaps agree on: If this is the motherfucking law of the land now, what’s good for the motherfucking goose is good for the motherfucking gander.

So let’s get out there, every goddamn Sunday, and head to the churches that send their lunatic Jesus-fellaters out to try to shut down Planned Parenthoods, and stand on their sidewalks, just like the one up there outside St. Mary’s in Grafton, and let’s make churchgoing a living fuckin’ hell for ‘em. Let’s bodily block the access to the walkways that lead to the church. Let’s bring signs that have pictures of women who were killed by illegal abortions. Let’s go up to them and try to convince them to convert or go atheist, following them until we are on church property and have to stop. Let’s block the street by walking back and forth in the crosswalk. Let’s force the churchgoers to need escorts to even get inside.

Shit, let’s plaster the telephone poles with photos of the priests and church leaders, their addresses, their phone numbers. Let’s tell them as they pass, “We know where you live.” Let’s film everyone going into the church and post those on a website. Hey, it’s a public fuckin’ sidewalk, man. Let’s scream at them about how they’re terrible people, how they support raping children, how they have given money to help silence victims. Can’t you hear their silent screams? Can’t you? Fuck, yeah.

Going to church is a choice, no? Let’s make sure they regret that fuckin’ choice, however legal it may be for them to make it. Then let’s see how quickly they’re begging for buffer zones.”

I’d prefer to burn the dog-damned churches (and the banks), but that’s just me.

guillotine1Susie points to this piece from Politico written by Nick Hanauer, a .01%er, “to my fellow zillionaires”:

But let’s speak frankly to each other. I’m not the smartest guy you’ve ever met, or the hardest-working. I was a mediocre student. I’m not technical at all—I can’t write a word of code. What sets me apart, I think, is a tolerance for risk and an intuition about what will happen in the future. Seeing where things are headed is the essence of entrepreneurship. And what do I see in our future now?

I see pitchforks.

At the same time that people like you and me are thriving beyond the dreams of any plutocrats in history, the rest of the country—the 99.99 percent—is lagging far behind. The divide between the haves and have-nots is getting worse really, really fast. In 1980, the top 1 percent controlled about 8 percent of U.S. national income. The bottom 50 percent shared about 18 percent. Today the top 1 percent share about 20 percent; the bottom 50 percent, just 12 percent.

But the problem isn’t that we have inequality. Some inequality is intrinsic to any high-functioning capitalist economy. The problem is that inequality is at historically high levels and getting worse every day. Our country is rapidly becoming less a capitalist society and more a feudal society. Unless our policies change dramatically, the middle class will disappear, and we will be back to late 18th-century France. Before the revolution.

And so I have a message for my fellow filthy rich, for all of us who live in our gated bubble worlds: Wake up, people. It won’t last.

If we don’t do something to fix the glaring inequities in this economy, the pitchforks are going to come for us. No society can sustain this kind of rising inequality. In fact, there is no example in human history where wealth accumulated like this and the pitchforks didn’t eventually come out. You show me a highly unequal society, and I will show you a police state. Or an uprising. There are no counterexamples. None. It’s not if, it’s when.

Many of us think we’re special because “this is America.” We think we’re immune to the same forces that started the Arab Spring—or the French and Russian revolutions, for that matter. I know you fellow .01%ers tend to dismiss this kind of argument; I’ve had many of you tell me to my face I’m completely bonkers. And yes, I know there are many of you who are convinced that because you saw a poor kid with an iPhone that one time, inequality is a fiction.

Here’s what I say to you: You’re living in a dream world. What everyone wants to believe is that when things reach a tipping point and go from being merely crappy for the masses to dangerous and socially destabilizing, that we’re somehow going to know about that shift ahead of time. Any student of history knows that’s not the way it happens. Revolutions, like bankruptcies, come gradually, and then suddenly. One day, somebody sets himself on fire, then thousands of people are in the streets, and before you know it, the country is burning. And then there’s no time for us to get to the airport and jump on our Gulfstream Vs and fly to New Zealand. That’s the way it always happens. If inequality keeps rising as it has been, eventually it will happen. We will not be able to predict when, and it will be terrible—for everybody. But especially for us.
The most ironic thing about rising inequality is how completely unnecessary and self-defeating it is. If we do something about it, if we adjust our policies in the way that, say, Franklin D. Roosevelt did during the Great Depression—so that we help the 99 percent and preempt the revolutionaries and crazies, the ones with the pitchforks—that will be the best thing possible for us rich folks, too. It’s not just that we’ll escape with our lives; it’s that we’ll most certainly get even richer.

Maria Antoinette and her cohort had no idea what was coming.

We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

Expect us!

Via Lawyers Guns and Money, all those liberals driving Priuses make big strong tough American white men feel threatened.

dodge ram exposedIn small towns across America, manly men are customizing their jacked-up [de-engineered suburban assault vehicles with tires the size of Volkswagons and the hood ornament a perfect rendition of the human female reproductive system*] diesel trucks to intentionally emit giant plumes of toxic smoke every time they rev their engines. They call it “rollin’ coal,” and it’s something they do for fun.

An entire subculture has emerged on the Internet surrounding this soot-spewing pastime—where self-declared rednecks gather on Facebook pages (16,000 collective followers) Tumblers and Instagram (156,714 posts) to share photos and videos of their Dodge Rams and GM Silverados purposefully poisoning the sky. As one of their memes reads: “Roll, roll, rollin’ coal, let the hybrid see. A big black cloud. Exhaust that’s loud. Watch the city boy flee.”

Aside from being macho, the rollin’ coal culture is also a renegade one. Kids make a point of blowing smoke back at pedestrians, in addition to cop cars and rice burners (Japanese-made sedans), which can make it dangerously difficult to see out of the windshield. Diesel soot can also be a great road rage weapon should some wimpy looking Honda Civic ever piss you off. “If someone makes you mad, you can just roll coal, and it makes you feel better sometimes,” says Ryan, a high school senior who works at the diesel garage with Robbie. “The other day I did it to this kid who was driving a Mustang with his windows down, and it was awesome.”

* Yes, I coined that descriptor.

Go below the fold for a really cool tattoo…

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A poll came out yesterday that says, “Hey, guess what, limbless Iraq war vets? We think the whole fuckin’ thing was a waste of time now. But enjoy those fancy artificial legs. And VA wait times.” You can read the poll results, which say that 71% of Americans say the war wasn’t “worth it,” and think, smugly that they’re goddamn right, just like you were since 2003. And, in fact, the Rude Pundit will say that now:

“You’re goddamn right it wasn’t worth it. Where were you motherfuckers back in 2003?”

bush-kiss-sheikLet’s lay the blame for the Iraq “war” squarely where it belongs: on the Republicans. Sure, some Democratic lawmakers voted to give Bush the ability to go to war and some liberal hawks in the military jacked it to fake WMD reports. Democratic voters, though, are another animal altogether. They were consistent with their opposition, with weasel-eyed independents not far behind. It was Republicans who enjoyed having their blood orgies under the spouting arteries of dying Americans and Iraqis. Their approval stayed consistently in the 70s, sometimes bumping uglies with the 80 percent mark, just balling away, madly, like the smell of gunpowder and gore was an aphrodisiac that makes you fuck harder and longer, the Spanish fly of the deranged cult of eternal war. The only reason support for the war lingered as high as the 40-49% range for so long was because an overwhelming number of Republicans supported staying in and fighting the useless fight.

You own the Iraq war, Republicans. “Everyone” didn’t support it. You supported it in huge numbers. You can blame a few cowardly Democratic Senators, but this isn’t on us outside the beltway. Our hands, while filthy for many reasons, are pretty clean on this. Yours, on the other hand, are permanently dyed by the blood of the dead and wounded.

Even now, an NBC/Wall Street Journal poll shows that a plurality of Republicans think the Iraq “war” was worth the lives and money: 46% to 44%. You got that? According to this poll, nearly half of Republicans still think like America’s most petulant pixie, John McCain. And the only thing you can say to those people is simple.

Go fuck yourselves. However you wanna do it. Use a dildo, use a cucumber, use the fucking bed post, use your shotgun (please), but go fuck yourselves. That shit goes double for the vast numbers of Republicans who supported the war for years and now think it was a bad idea. Seriously, use a fuckin’ ramrod on your assholes.


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